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3. "I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food." 4. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made." 5.


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Displayed 1-15 of 19 quotes. A great list of quotes about, men. •, The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. • Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.


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Funny Quotes for Men and Women. 91. "My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look." - Crimes and Misdemeanors. 92. "Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That's for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve." - David Letterman


Funny Quotes About Men

Funny Quotes. 1. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg. 2. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This.


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Inspirational Quotes. Discover and share Funny Inspirational Quotes For Men. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.


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Here are some hilarious quotes about men that will tickle your funny bone. "When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." ~ Sacha Guitry. "A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing." ~ Duane Dewel. "Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.


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1. The ideal man goes home early, doesn't flirt, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't gamble and doesn't exist. 380. 0. Men are like chocolate bars…they're sweet and smooth but head straight for your hips. 449. 1. Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped. 423.


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11 "Women need makeup to be fake; men are fake without extra help.". 12 "When a man tells you, he is going to meet his friend Jack or Johnny, be sure he is referring to a human being and not his liquor.". 13 "Men can enjoy a lot of jokes, but when it comes to size and height, they seem to develop a severe sensitivity.".


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123. Men are like…..Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard. 124. Men are like…..Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. 125. Men are like…..Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.


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Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.". - Michael Scott, The Office. "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.". - Charles M. Schulz. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.". - Will Ferrell.


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8. "By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day." —Robert Frost. 9. "The road to success is always under construction." —Lily.


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Oscar Wilde. You will earn the respect of all men if you begin by earning the respect of yourself. Musonius Rufus. When you find peace within yourself, you also find peace without. Naga Devi. The crucial thing is to find a truth which is truth for me, to find the idea for which I am willing to live and die.


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Mae West. "Men are all alike -- except the one you've met who's different." "Men are easy to get but hard to keep." "It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men." "Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you." "Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from."


Funny Quotes About Men. QuotesGram

3. "My speech is going to be like a mini-skirt: long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to hold your attention." - Anonymous. 4. "It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married." - Robert Frost. 5. "Marriage is not just spiritual communion.